Reply to why do so many people think all kids are easy / as easy as theirs?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many of the responses on here act like just the parents / parenting are the problem.  If only the parent was better at parenting, the kid would always do as told / behave appropriately / listen / comply / have manners etc etc

I have 3 kids - one is super easy - all the basic parenting tools work like a charm.  One is medium - requires me to put more work into holding consistent boundaries and discipline, requires some picking battles b/c i can't focus on all behavior at once, but in general if I put in the work, I get good returns.  And one is just super difficult to parent.  I've done in person parenting classes, read the books, talked to therapists, done the Dr. Becky etc parenting forums...and we've made good progress but he is still substantially less well behaved than my other two. The parenting class I did called him (and all the kids like him whose parents were also in the class) strong willed kids - ones who are often very smart so they're on alert for being manipulated, very motivated to try to control their world, very strategic thinkers etc (this fits my kid to a T and was the description used by the class teachers - not just my preening over my child).  For the most part, they're neurotypical (many of us had done neuropsych evals bc parenting these kids takes so much work), they're just a certain personality and that personality may serve them very well in the future but is not docile and compliant now.

This is just a rant and perhaps PSA I guess, when you have a knee jerk reaction on here to a parents Q that they're just a bad or lazy parent, that they have no spine, that they need to learn some basic tools - [b]trust that if they're bothering to post on here they are likely a parent who is trying very hard, using all the tools you've had to use for your easier child and then some, putting tremendous work into behavior charts and antecedent planning and when/then parenting and consequences and everything else[/b].  There is nothing "wrong" with these kids or these parents, they're just kids that take a lot more work and energy and creativity and thought partnership to raise.  It is no more to my credit that one of my kids is so easy and compliant than it is to my fault that one is much more difficult.[/quote]

Are you new here? There are SO many posts where people have done none of that and have no interest in doing it. Also, people post advice from their own viewpoint, which is likely all they know. Sorry you have a tough kid, but if you're going to get upset about the advice random internet people give on here...perhaps this isn't the place for you. [/quote]

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