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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]:( You caught me on a day where my Da has been here 6 days and advised he was fine and didn't need to bathe. :(

He has limited energy and nose blindness as the ad calls it. He is frugal so I told him I had just gotten out of the bath and had all the nice soapy warm water and he'd be helping me not to waste it. It's cold and rainy out and I told him he could soak and feel cozy and enjoy the view.

I helped him scrub his back and head and left him mostly alone until he was ready to get out. At one point, my oldest son (15) came back from his run and wanted to shower so he came into the master as well and I let them bond and have a roman bath and make penis length/shrinkage jokes. I think it's good for my son to see the body acceptance and challenges with aging.

I then went to the guest room to see if he had laundry and I found a pair of urine soaked undies Da had stuffed down into the (new) couch cushion (OMFG he was never gross like this) so I then had to sanitize the fabric and set up a fan and I am letting it dry. I am pleasantly pushy but in the end he is still appreciating it these days- when I noticed the incontinence on the last visit we got him on a prostate med and I got him some lightly padded guy underwear...he is only in this country to visit a couple times a year so I am always finding something new for him.

When he got out, I clipped his toe and fingernails ("they are fine"- no they aren't- they had like 7 mm of white), put lotion on his back and limbs and he is all cozy now hanging out with us. I overheard him musing to our son "bathing used to be something I did before I went out to an event. Now if I bathe, it's the whole event- big accomplishment of the day" :(

God knows he cleaned me up when I needed it as a kid; glad I can return the favour, but sad at the decline. I am trying to take the load off my sister who is also down visiting and she helps him out back at home but is not good at noticing changes with him or health issues, and is not pushy enough. I told her she needs to get pushier so he doesn't make himself unlovable by being unclean. She is learning to use the royal we with requests/demands. My grandmother was the same- you literally had to say (or yell, as she was deaf/hearing aids never worked well for her) "YOU SMELL. We can SMELL YOU" and she's blame the dog, but she would bathe. :(

My suggestion: be pleasantly pushy. Fix things without permission (washing clothes/ buying new underwear/setting up hair appts) and go from there. My dad will never ask for help but I know he appreciates it/agrees with the approvements.[/quote]

I’m so glad you found those underwear. I had a sick houseguest leave uneaten food (soup and crackers) under the bed in the guest room that wasn’t found until months later. [/quote]

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