Reply to Sister is 38 and says she's still waiting to have children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of people will tell you to mind your own business. Personally, I think you should bring it up. I would with my sister. It would be different if she wasn’t married and saying she wanted to have children. Some people just don’t pay attention and understand that fertility issues are real. So many famous people have kids later in life so it makes people think they can too.[/quote]

Do people really think that someone who genuinely wants children waits to have them just they saw some celebrity postponing pregnancy?[/quote]

My sister waited until she was 37 to try to have kids. Her husband took a while to decide he wanted to get married - so it wasn’t the same situation. But she was really surprised when she couldn’t get pregnant. Like shocked. She thought she’d have no problems. She’s very smart and successful. You’d be surprised what people don’t realize with fertility. [/quote]

Yes, she might have been shocked to realize she was having issues. The point I'm trying to make is that, not matter how clueless you are about your fertility, if you're ready to have kids and want them, you'll try having them. If you're postponing motherhood you're probably doing it because you're not very interested in having children or there is something else going on in your life that makes having children a bad idea.   [/quote]

+1 - This. I ended up doing IVF and it’s amazing once you are pregnant with an IVF baby how many people you know also used IUIs, donor sperm, IVF, etc. But the unspoken secret is that no one talk about it - especially when all the happy talk is about weddings and honeymoons. It’s incredibly realistic that an educated, successful 37yr old in a place like DC where 35-42 yr old pregnant people are normal, would have the perception that her coworkers and acquaintances got pregnant easily at 37/8/9 when in fact many of them may have used help. I know my secret came out when I saw a coworker in the Shady Grove waiting room and she tipped me off to others and then I was welcomed into their secret club. However we REALLY wanted kids and I knew the stats and pushed to get tests 3mo after my wedding and start IUIs at 6mo. I knew we couldn’t mess around with “wait and see”. [/quote]

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