Reply to If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?

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Reply to "If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Woken up golden child here.

Having kids made it clear that I wasn't going to let my narc grandpa and enabler grandma anywhere near them because I was absolutely not going to teach my kid that it was her job to contort herself to manage a grown up's feelings. My scapegoat sister had come to roughly the same conclusion around the same time (thanks therapy).

She and I are slowly reprocessing our childhood together, and while I have a lot of guilt about about ways I treated her then, she thankfully gives me a lot of grace - she understands that I was a kid too and I didn't create this dynamic we both found ourselves in.

Our parents are constantly trying to recreate the dynamic even today - calling me about how she is ruining the family and so forth. I tell them I think she is 100% right and until they make things right with her it's a gray rock and arms length from both of us.

We both ended up really successful somehow - managing the eggshells in our household gave us professional superpowers, it turns out. In my marriage, I looked for the exact opposite of what I watched growing up. It took her one failed first marriage replicating it, but now she's got the same.[/quote]

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