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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to work on your mindset, OP. Your post is a little icky when talking about your own kids.

But also, the truth is parenting is a grind no matter who you make babies with.

And you can’t account for all contingencies. Stuff happens in life. I have a child with a severe disability that is due to a de novo (random) genetic mutation that didn’t come from me or DH.

[/quote]

I don't think my concerns are unreasonable.  The thing is, with my one child, both my mom, and my husband's sibling, has said how similar they are to said sibling. I see it too, both in terms of appearance, personality, quirks, habits, interests, social difficulties, cynicism and oppositional behaviors.  I don't think our child will follow the same path, but that sibling had the most struggles out of everyone.  Multiple suicide attempts and hospitalizations, ran away from home  at age 14 and lived with other people for many years, was in an in-patient program at least 4x, divorced.

Our other child has addictive tendencies and personality traits (sensitivity, competitiveness, obsessive anxiety) similar to my husband's other sibling, who suffered from addiction for most their adult lives, and also had multiple suicide attempts and divorced.

Our other child is similar in appearance and personality to my FIL, who is perfectionistic, high-strung, always angry, stubborn, very demanding, and while a bit shy and socially awkward, is popular.

All that said, I guess both my MIL and FIL are relatively stable in that they have stayed married, have not fallen to addiction, or ever actually attempted suicide. But I still worry, given the family history.[/quote]

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