Reply to DW acting as if nothing is happening during divorce mediation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is playing the good guy - see everyone! we can divorce and be friends!

But tbh, she's not allowing you to grieve or mourn the relationship and set your own boundaries. You need therapy - not in a "you're messed up" but moreso how to navigate and how to set your own lines.

She shouldn't be allowed to barge in your room whenever and YOU need to respond less to the daily noise of texts/chats/etc. You don't need to be ice, but you don't need to stay in the same mind frame. You're getting a divorce - are you also working on what life will look like for you after? Make yourself scarce some evenings (after kid duties) - take up a hobby outside of the house, spend alternate weekends away from the house, etc.

You say you're healthy - this is not healthy behavior. You don't have to be mean or cruel or any of those things. But you don't have to act like a spouse.[/quote]

+1. Take the kids to do stuff alone on the weekends. I would take a while to answer any text / phone call that is not kid related.  If adding a lock to your door seems too aggressive, then when she comes in to discuss non-kid things, you could tell her that you need a nap/to go to bed, and then literally get under the covers and pretend to sleep. A couple of therapy sessions could help you work out a way to set up some boundaries. I also think it is fine to tell her that her behavior confuses you and ask her again if she would see a therapist with you.[/quote]

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