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[quote=Anonymous]In order to get behavior to change you have to have a meeting where you clearly set out the issues, write them down, and then list consequences for doing them or not doing them. Then you consistently enforce them. Every single time. I would add an extra chore is one is not completed. They need a visual chart, a reminder, until automatic, and then immediately take the phone or cut the WiFi or whatever. You can trade the phone for a cheap flip phone if the kid will need to call you for a ride home or whatever.

You have lots of power. Take their bedroom door off the hinges if they are not cooperating, because too much privacy is clearly making them forget they are not part of a family. Don’t do their laundry. Don’t make them dinner if they didn’t clean up the kitchen. They can have a bowl of cereal while everyone else eats.

If you can approach it as a group responsibility to run the house and ask if it is fair that you do all the work, all the better, and thank each other and plan fun events for the family because you are no longer too tired to organize and pay for them.

It’s inconceivable to me that kids don’t do what they are told, given the normal parameters of growing up and rebelling. It’s not a choice. It’s basic behavior modification, hopefully fueled by love, but certainly controllable by consequences.

If your family is too far gone, have a couple of sessions with a family therapist.[/quote]

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