Reply to 82-year-old mom refuses to plan, share info, discuss

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the typical boomer attitude. Awful, she needs to hand over everything and go away instead of being a burden.[/quote]

The OP's mom is post-war, not boomer. It's not a boomer thing, it's an old person thing. We need to accept that most very old people are not mentally capable of end of life planning. Back in the old days, we didn't move out of town when we grew up, and they lived at home with us, and we took care of them as they got older. [/quote]

And life expectancy was a lot lower back in the day, so they didn't live with their kids for nearly as long. When the Social Security system was created, people's average life expectancy was in the 50s to 60s range (depending on gender and race), not the 80s. And we also didn't have the drugs and medical procedures we do now to prolong quantity of life (not necessarily quality), preventing mortality but promoting morbidity.

OP, I have nothing but sympathy. I'd personally start by finding an eldercare attorney where your mom lives and at least getting the POA, healthcare proxy, etc. signed by your mom. She needs to understand that these only kick in when she is not able to make decisions for herself, not immediately. Getting those in order is the most important first step.[/quote]

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