Reply to I'll only pay for college if GPA stays above 3.0

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[quote=Anonymous]Years ago someone told me that in times of conflict and stress with my kid, to invest first and foremost in the relationship. That, long-term, is actually the most reliable way to help them become better versions of themselves. It’s been pretty solid advice, and my biggest mistakes (there have been plenty) — came in the moments when I didn’t take it.

Investing in the relationship doesn’t mean indulging them, or lacking standards. Relationships go two ways!

OP, what I read in your post is that you feel not only frustrated, but disrespected. Unseen. You are giving all you can, including second chances, and you don’t feel like you’re being met with the same good faith. Is that an accurate assessment of where you are? If so, perhaps framing it in terms of what these grades mean to you on a human/relationship level would be a more helpful starting place than a “3.0-or-bust” punitive scold. You can still get to the 3.0 minimum standard, of course — if that is the boundary you need in this relationship, that’s important to know. But it’s a way of framing the conversation that invests in the relationship and potentially opens a bit more space for your kid to tell you what’s going on.

Good luck.  [/quote]

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