Reply to Asked to be a witness in a custody dispute involving my son's kindergarten friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]	I’d tell him to have his lawyer contact you. I’d meet with his lawyer on my schedule on my terms, I wouldn’t miss work, activities with kids, time with my spouse. You can also ask to meet with the judge hearing the case, judges after all are just people, they “put their pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us” to use an old expression. If I was told “The judge won’t talk to you” I’d go to the judges boss, I may even go to the media with it, reporters are hungry for stories. It’d not get a lot of press, but a little might be all you need. Don’t let people or situations intimidate you, certainly when you have done nothing wrong.  I guarantee someone on here will come on and say this “isn’t done” or ‘can’t be done” but it can, the courthouse is open to the public, judges work for the public, you’re part of the public, you can talk to anybody you need to talk to. The same goes for the lawyer, which he’d better pay for, you want me to appear in court, under oath, I will be talking to your lawyer. If he misbehaves, you always have the guy’s ex-wife and her legal people to talk to, don’t forget that. You are in a strong position here, op. I don’t understand why you can’t see that.  You have been asked by a party in a dispute to be a witness, you have every right to ask whatever questions you need. Remind everybody you were never married to the dad or his wife, you didn’t break up the marriage, the only reason you are here is because your kid plays with his kid. Say this often.. if it’s true. Is it?  
This is what you do if you really do want to help the guy. Remind him you are helping, not guaranteeing he’ll like the outcome. Remind him this is a big deal and this is new for you. If you don’t like how he treats you, literally take it to the judge, the police, his ex, anybody you need to tell. 
Btw, are you married? You don’t mention a spouse, where is he and what is his opinion? I’d ask the dad why *you* are asked, not you and your spouse.

Lastly, if you truly think his ex is correct in what she says, why the f**ck do you let your kid play with his? At 5, this is easy “Mom, can I see Johnny” “no, we were going to go play, then I need to go to the store, Thanksgiving is coming up, what special food should we get”? Real easy at 5 to keep your distance from this dad socially if that’s what you wanted to do. 
Remember too, the person you don’t like today may be fine once whatever stressor has passed, and may turn out to be a real good friend. Take care of yourself first, make sure your own family is safe emotionally and physically, but I’d not be stressing about this. Personally, I’m stuck on your “I want to help the guy out” like he’s your little brother wanting a slice of pizza Mom already said no to” and your “What if it’s true, he’s a big bad scary man after all”. Which is it op? Do you want to date the guy if the hearing turns out how you want it to go? Of course you don’t know “what really happened”, the lawyers and judges don’t either and we pay them for their time in court. You aren’t as unique as you think and the courtroom will be full of people who truly don’t know what did or didn’t happen in that marriage or with those kids. 
[/quote]What in the world salad…[/quote]

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