Reply to Asked to be a witness in a custody dispute involving my son's kindergarten friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks so much, everybody, for your amazingly helpful thoughts.  Yes, I need to bow out.  I agree I probably shouldn't have been asked and placed in this awkward position.

I also feel a bit gross because what if the playdates that he recently initiated were opportunistically motivated?

I don't know.  I feel bad for parents going through these things.  Geez, they can get ugly.
[/quote]

OP, please be reassured that you're doing the right thing for both yourself AND this child by saying no to testifying.

The dad might be trying to manipulate you and the process, or he might be truly a great dad, but you simply cannot know, either way, based on your very limited interactions with him. The right thing to do for that child is to say no. Like others have noted already, it's odd at best, and a bit suspcious at worst, that the father is asking someone he knows so little to be a character witness. Let him have to find another one. The court may see through it, if it's clear the dad can't produce witnesses who actually know him and his child WELL.

But turn him down with some care, and here's why: If you can continue to stay at least civil with both the dad and the mom, it could be good for their child if your child can keep being friends and even having playdates outside school. That kid's going to need friends and fun, if he or she is the center of a nasty custody dispute. Never get dragged in, don't listen to either of them talk about the other ("I realize you have custody issues being resolved, but I'd rather focus just on the kids..." could work for you). And distance yourself and your child if you feel you're both being used in any way by either parent.[/quote]

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