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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m a trailing spouse who also doesn’t love where we landed, so nothing but commiseration from me. We were supposed to be here 3-5 years max, and here we are 10 years later and have all the ties that now keep people in a place.

I really think a lot of posters are missing the fact that you are lacking in family and friend support. So many people wear their family dysfunction and ability to do it all themselves like some kind of badge or honour, but not everyone wants to live that way and feeling isolated is very painful. I felt like I was a ghost in our new city for years. I WFH as my industry didn’t exist up here when we came up, and that isolated me from meeting people and just getting out. DH on the other hand had a great new job, coworkers, etc. and just couldn’t understand what I was so upset about.

This will sound trite as hell, but the more I fought staying the more I hated it, and the more I hated it here, the more I hated it here. Once I stopped fighting it so much, I learned to lean into it a bit more and while it’s still not where I would be, I don’t hate it as much any more.

Id probably talk to your therapist about working through the feelings about living where you don’t want. Congratulations for getting on antidepressants - I found that time so hard that I turned to drinking, which was one of the lowest choices I’ve ever made.

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