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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]IME, secretive people have a reason they are secretive and it's rarely about random coworkers. They have had a stalker, they have an abusive spouse, they have a mentally unwell spouse, they have serious issues in their life, etc.  They don't want to share more than they have to, and that's completely okay. I also find that when I don't press and I just respect them, support them, and be kind to them, eventually they decide I'm trustworthy enough to open up to.  This isn't about you, and it's probably not about them either. It's probably about something in their lives, and OP, I would strongly encourage you to ask yourself whether you are gentle enough with the people around you to earn their trust. That's probably a more fruitful line of inquiry than asking internet strangers why your coworkers is reluctant to open up.  [/quote]

This. I have a mother, mother-in law and sister who can create drama or explode over the most innocuous things. I have seen crazy things happen over the years both at work, among extended family, my friend's lives and I am extra cautious with people until I get to know them. I used to be more open, but actually had to learn in therapy to be as boring and bland as possible with my family of origin and MIL and not give out any information beyond the weather. This has served me well. I can often figure out who is a drama llama outside of family so I provide little info to those people too. I can understand the birthday thing because both my husband and I have had identities stolen and the less info people know the better. I was pretty trusting through my 20s, a little wiser in 30s and by 50s I am cautious as F. I think my 75 I will be a conspiracy theorist addicted to trash news wearing a tinfoil hat.[/quote]

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