Reply to Husband’s texts when I was out of town

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here. Kids have anxiety and ADHD.[/quote]

They will really struggle with shuttling around. Esp when there will be conflict unless you change your side. Anxiety around forgetting something, the executive function challenges other kids don't face, all drain resources that otherwise would go to coping or development. My kids were doing okayish then really struggled with 2 homes. My bipolar ex had a series of affairs and left to be with one so I had no choices about that. You do.

Have you tried working with a coach/psychologist who works with families where everyone is neurodivergent? Otherwise it is a complete waste of your time.

The only person you can change is YOU, OP.

DBT or CBT for you will pay big dividends for your kids.

You are almost addicted to your focus on DH. You even admit it's unproductive. Change that. You even say a separation was no magic solution. Yet you have not changed your thinking patterns. 
[/quote]

OK, I appreciate the input. I also suspect moving around would be really tough on my kids. Which is why I haven’t pulled the escape cord.

What would the focus in DBT/CBT be on?

I do not want to focus on him. However I realized these past few months that without setting firm boundaries the behavior was escalating to the point that he was screaming at me in front of the kids. Just totally unacceptable stuff. Our friends have seen him triggered when he’s at a 1-2 and all commented to me that it was inappropriate and what the heck is going on. So I feel like it’s important to get this behavior in check and not let him ride over boundaries.[/quote]

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