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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I asked my kids how involved they wanted me to be. It was a giant range.  And it was part of a college conversation that included money, showing them the 529 statements, who Princeton can be cheaper than BC for people like us - but a little step down from BC can be affordable too. It was college 101 the summer before 9th.

Both kids asked me to be a little involved, mostly boiling down to not harassing them about grades (it's a really hard high school) but getting information about summer programs.  Etc.

IOW, I'd ask the kid[/quote]

This sounds like us. Same for money talk and similar financial situation.  DD had to realize that we could afford the top tier sister was at (great endowment and need based aid) but maybe not the next step down (need based with lesser endowment/aid) and definitely not the next down (where need aid is below our income level) w/o merit aid. And I explained that our flagship (UMDCP) was now way more competitive,  so I was like take the wheel and drive this or start loving Towson and UMBC. Both fine choices.
I helped her brainstorm ideas of what she might like to try and research different opportunities. Finding things she was genuinely interested in made her in control and gave her a more vested interest.  And, the mix makes her an interesting candidate! But, I do a lot of leg work finding workshops,  volunteer opps, competitions etc. 
I do think a little tutoring to maintain great grades is a worthwhile investment.  GPA alone won't earn admission,  but it is the base component. [/quote]

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