Reply to How do I minimize how often I end up harping on my kid?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]3. Every time you are compelled to criticize your child or harp on some thing they are doing, switch the focus to yourself and ask yourself what little thing you could do to improve yourself at that moment. For example, perhaps you were drinking too much caffeine. Perhaps you should do some task you have been putting off. Perhaps you should go for a walk instead of sitting and reading a magazine and not getting exercise. Whatever. I find that adults often focus on improving their children, when really it’s their *own* lives that need some work. What’s more, this way you lead through example, which is much more convincing than mere words. If you were not thinking about all the ways your kid could act better, what would you be thinking about?[/quote]

What?  I mean, I am not a perfect person, but I turn in work (for my job) when it is due, and don't leave a giant pile of my dirty underwear and clothes for other family members to pick up.  I'm not asking for perfection, just to have school work completed and turned in, and not to impose on other members of the household by leaving the place a mess.  [/quote]

So maybe you should reflect on how to teach your kid to do those things without criticizing or harping on them. [b]If your boss wanted you to do something differently, what would be most effective? Criticizing and harping on you until you do it, or approaching you in a different way[/b]?[/quote]

Well, everyone gets the benefit of the doubt.

For example, your boss will ask you to do something.

If you don't do it:

- they should ask why
- they should ask if you don't understand
- they should repeat the instructions
- they should demonstrate how the task is completed (or ask someone else to demonstrate it)

BBBBUUUUTTT, if after all that, you still don't complete the task, it's perfectly normal for the boss to begin punitive measures, such as performance plans, formal feedback documented with HR, and ultimately, termination.

I'm quite sure OP didn't just immediately jump to harping.  I'm sure she started with the benefit of the doubt, with gentle reminding, etc.  But if that doesnt work, punitive measures are to be expected[/quote]

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