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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

This. And it's not your DS1's fault that music scholarships are pretty rare and skimpy. You need to stop looking at the scholarship as the direct result of hard work. There are too many extrinsic factors and disparities.

And btw it's your DS2 and his entitled attitude that's causing turmoil. Not your wife's reasonable decision about what is ultimately THE PARENTS' MONEY AND NOT THE CHILDREN'S MONEY.[/quote]

DS #1 has every right to choose music but he needs to realize that the scholarship for music is very rare while DS #2 chose a sport and it paid off handsomely with a full athletic scholarship.  Should I pay someone with a degree in humanity the same salary as someone with a degree in Biomedical Engineering just because they both work equally hard?
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Obviously not.  However, this is not a job....this is the parents providing for each of their kids as Needed.  I don't "love one of my kids more or provide more for them because I like them better"---I provide for each kid as the circumstances require---if the kid with learning disabilities needs tutoring/therapy, I provide that and I don't say "sorry you don't get a car when you graduate college because I had to pay for your therapies when you were younger but your sibling does get one"

In normal families, you do not keep track of what you spend on your kids, instead you provide for each kid as deemed necessary around your family budget.  
Now to be fair, if one kid wanted medical school and the other only wants a BS/BA, then I'd probably help the 2nd kid with first car/house downpayment/etc if I had it.  But not if the kid "demanded" it to the detriment of not talking to the sibling going to medical school simply because we are paying for med school---I would feel like I have failed as a parent if my kid was that entitled. 
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