Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting conundrum and a good reason to talk about it early. In my family, it’s not the kid’s money. We pay for college, as the parents. Athletic scholarships are fine but not required nor trigger a “refund” in that way. Neither does picking a less expensive college or not going to college, etc.
Anonymous wrote:So DS#1 goes to USC and spends 90K while DS#2 has a full time job (playing a sport at a P5 school on an athletic scholarship is a full time job) in addition to not spending a single dime from the family. And yet, DCUM’ers are calling DS#2 a brat and entitled kid. WTF!!!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
This. And it's not your DS1's fault that music scholarships are pretty rare and skimpy. You need to stop looking at the scholarship as the direct result of hard work. There are too many extrinsic factors and disparities.
And btw it's your DS2 and his entitled attitude that's causing turmoil. Not your wife's reasonable decision about what is ultimately THE PARENTS' MONEY AND NOT THE CHILDREN'S MONEY.
DS #1 has every right to choose music but he needs to realize that the scholarship for music is very rare while DS #2 chose a sport and it paid off handsomely with a full athletic scholarship. Should I pay someone with a degree in humanity the same salary as someone with a degree in Biomedical Engineering just because they both work equally hard?
Maybe. I would. It depends on your values as a parent and a person in society.
If you didn't make this clear to DS1 in advance, that isn't very fair or very good parenting.
Does society, in general, pay a humanities degree graduate and a biomedical engineering degree graduate the same salary even though they are both equally working hard? The answer is a NO.
DS #1 is allowed to choose music as his EC but he must understand that the probability of getting a music scholarship is slim to none while DS #2 picked a sport as an EC and ended up with a scholarship. You can penalize DS #2 for wanting that money.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
This. And it's not your DS1's fault that music scholarships are pretty rare and skimpy. You need to stop looking at the scholarship as the direct result of hard work. There are too many extrinsic factors and disparities.
And btw it's your DS2 and his entitled attitude that's causing turmoil. Not your wife's reasonable decision about what is ultimately THE PARENTS' MONEY AND NOT THE CHILDREN'S MONEY.
DS #1 has every right to choose music but he needs to realize that the scholarship for music is very rare while DS #2 chose a sport and it paid off handsomely with a full athletic scholarship. Should I pay someone with a degree in humanity the same salary as someone with a degree in Biomedical Engineering just because they both work equally hard?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
This. And it's not your DS1's fault that music scholarships are pretty rare and skimpy. You need to stop looking at the scholarship as the direct result of hard work. There are too many extrinsic factors and disparities.
And btw it's your DS2 and his entitled attitude that's causing turmoil. Not your wife's reasonable decision about what is ultimately THE PARENTS' MONEY AND NOT THE CHILDREN'S MONEY.
DS #1 has every right to choose music but he needs to realize that the scholarship for music is very rare while DS #2 chose a sport and it paid off handsomely with a full athletic scholarship. Should I pay someone with a degree in humanity the same salary as someone with a degree in Biomedical Engineering just because they both work equally hard?
Maybe. I would. It depends on your values as a parent and a person in society.
If you didn't make this clear to DS1 in advance, that isn't very fair or very good parenting.