Reply to Why do so many of you NW adults have Trust Funds or get parental help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe I am completely naive, but I am surprised that this is a widespread practice and perhaps even more surprised that people take it.   I cannot imagine taking any money from my parents, regardless of how well off they are. [/quote]

What would you suggest we do?  When Dh's grandfather wrote checks out to the grandkids for sevral years and sent them to each of them with a note about how much he wanted to give this to us to help us get a start, or when DH's dad sends a check (which he does with some frequency) saying he got a windfall and wanted to share, should we rip up the check?  Scrawl all over the letter, "We don't want your money because we can do it ourselves, godammit"?

We would never ask for help, but I would never insult them by taking such a stance on a gift.  I learned years ago after jockeying for years with my FIL that he still needs to be the parent.  He doesn't care that we can pay for everyone's dinner, for example.  If we are out he always insists on picking up the check, and I have finally stopped fighting him.  He wants to do it to show he is still the parent.  So we let him.  Why do we need to rub his nose in how much we don't need his influence (since we moved away from a place where he had some) or his money?[/quote]

It's not about rubbing his nose in it and honestly, if i were in your situation I am not sure how I would handle it. This is also your DH's family, so you have less leverage in terms of dealing with them and turning down their "gifts."

I think that having limited resources has shaped me immensely. It has forced me to become efficient, creative, self-relient, and responsible. I can't speak for those who have always had plenty of money available to them, but I wonder how they are responsible and independent in other aspects of their lives given that they've never *had* to support themselves. [/quote]

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