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[quote=Anonymous]Don’t you think if any of this were true, any time you went to a therapist about a mean girl, they would say, “well, mean girl, mean mom?” The truth is people are mean for so many reasons. Some girls don’t know yet how to be targeted by mean behavior. Telling these kids to imagine it is nothing like living it. Once they live it, they may understand what they didn’t before and over time, become kind and empathetic. Mom might have been through that, while daughter hasn’t. Or girl might be feeling hurt and thinking of only herself, pointing to another girl, calling her mean, finding a group of friends to support her weight realizing that it too is also mean behavior. Resentment, insecurity, anxiety, seeing only one-side of an injustice makes people  mean. Not knowing how to handle things can make people mean. So for example a girl who wants to be left alone by another girl who keeps harassing her might decide to tell a friend to stay away and do things that seem exclusive. Mom may know to say, “I need space right now.” Other times mom might be a as narcissist and unable to see her own behavior. Daughter who only sees mom’s behavior may try to be the opposite of it. Maybe she’ll persist that way. Maybe one day, tired of being a doormat, not knowing how to use her voice productively, she’ll flip over to the other side.

Feelings, child development and life journeys don’t follow simple rules.[/quote]

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