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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are all these events that you can't bring the kids? You've only mentioned the brunch besides the wedding itself. Why can't the kid sit with any of the grandparents during the ceremony? And you can watch the kids yourself at the brunch. What else is going on?[/quote]

- Welcome party on Thursday night
- Rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, post-rehearsal dinner party on Friday night. For close family and friends, there is also a lunch on Friday (for the women) and separate activity for the guys. 
- Ceremony, reception, after party on Saturday night. During the day on Saturday, DH and I will be with the wedding party because we’re in the wedding. So for me I assume that means hair/makeup starting sometime mid-morning, plus photos at some point etc.
- Big brunch on Sunday morning for all wedding guests[/quote]

-Welcome party: attend briefly with the kids. Bow out early while DH stays.
-Friday night: your parents watch the one year old. You, DH, and the older kid attend rehearsal and dinner. Post-rehearsal dinner party is just excessive. Maybe send DH, but no need for you all to attend.
-Wedding day: ask your parents to watch the one year old. DH be fully responsible for the older kid who's in the wedding. You maintain fexibility to switch off with your parents whenever you're not actively needed (for make up, photos, and ceremony). You step back during reception to be with your kids and parents while DH does his duty.
-Brunch: bring the kids and enjoy.

This is assuming your parents are up to it. Mine would be and my mom would actually insist on it. 
I would also be very clear about their expectations: you're parents to very young kids and even with help, you cannot party like a non-parent anymore. If they have issues with it, they can pound sand. [/quote]

I know big, celebratory families that have huge weddings, that are always genuine (not forced) fun, with tons of before and after parties, but none of it is considered obligatory!

Have brides and grooms always been this demanding?[/quote]

Or is it the type of dysfunctional family that will blame OP, if OP is unable to attend? [/quote]

So people moan when kids aren't invited to the wedding because who will watch the kids? Then they complain when kids are invited, because who will watch the kids? You watch your own kids, or ask for parental help, or leave the events as needed. The kids are not the main event, nobody really cares if they are there, come and go as needed. Skip some events, make an appearance, leave early, what's the big deal?[/quote]

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