Reply to DS’s friend told DS his parents got divorced

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been separated for 7 years and divorced for 2 and most my friends and coworkers don't even know. Only really close friends and family just found out because my mom died and my xH was at the funeral (for our kids) but then he went home. Lol. It was funny we sat around and told "family secrets".

It's just not something that comes up in conversation, I don't need support, I don't see any reason to bring it up in conversation.

While we were separated, we still attended kids games, school events, cookouts and dinner parties with our kids. As soon as people started to find out they were like "who do we invite" "do we invite both", I was like well for 5 years you were inviting both why would you stop.

It's weird how people act so weird about divorce. [/quote]

If my kid hangs out with yours a lot I need to know. You don't need to make some big announcement or share detail, just weave it in casually in a conversation. [/quote]

Why do you “need to know?”[/quote]

What a weird question. My kid hangs out in households where i know the parents well.[b] I don't want her around the newest boyfriend or girlfriend the parents are dating, nor sitters a parent is hiring etc.[/b]
If you are so secretive about a core change in the dynamics of your household, for YEARS, i can't trust you.[/quote]

If you're close enough with a given couple, they'll tell you directly.  If they're responsible parents, you need to trust them not to leave their kid (and yours) alone with some random bf/gf or sitter.  If you don't trust them to do that, you probably don't know them as well as you thought you did.

I get that not all divorces are so amicable as to pretend they didn't happen (e.g., inviting the couple as a couple), but not all of them are as acrimonious and dysfunctional as many people assume.[/quote]

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