Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't get the women who are denying the existence of EAs. If some woman was telling my husband she would lick him all over, that would be disturbing. But how you would feel if you found out your husband worked with someone who really felt a connection with, who when she was going through a hard time, he felt awful about it and wanted to protect her/comfort her. How he thought they had so much in common, and really understood each other.

That's what happened with my DH. He was lying about the amount of time they were spending together. He was doing date-type things with her even though he thought they were "platonic." (like on work trips they would go on bike trips, out for drinks just them, etc.). No physical lines were crossed but he was clearly into her. And in order to do all this, he was less interested and motivated in spending time with me, because he was giving all his energy to her. He would come home and just want to veg out or text with her.

It took a while for him to realize what a hot mess she was and that they were both lost and not actually discovering their soul mates. It helped that he had known her for years and it was only when he entered mid-life crisis mode caused by a career disappointment and birth of our second child, and she was going through a messy divorce they "discovered" each other. She is actually not psycho, but she has kids, he has kids, and I think he realized it was pointless to leave the mother of his children for some woman with more children just because he felt an infatuation. And that after a year or so of new sex, it would be same old, same old, only they wouldn't share the kids and they wouldn't have a shared history. So we opted together to work on issues on our marriage that were weak. It ended up being a good thing but I would not wish it on another person and I certainly wouldn't dismiss it.  
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