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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a parent who immigrated to the United States when my daughter was born, I was raised in a country where cultural norms, religious beliefs, and social expectations strongly discourage premarital sex. Romantic relationships prior to college are discouraged and are seen as distractions from pursuing education and personality development. The prevailing belief is that teenage minds are not mature enough to handle the emotional challenges that come with committed relationships.

I visit these forums to gain a general understanding of how parents in the suburban NOVA area approach issues related to teenagers. Is sexual abstinence not emphasized among teenagers anymore? Do parents here generally accept that teenagers will somehow engage in sex and so focus on guiding them to practice safe sex? If a parent engages in open conversations about safe sex and its significance, wouldn't it imply indirectly to their teenager that the parent acknowledges their child will likely engage in sexual activity and is accepting of it? Would a teenager perceive their parent as old fashioned if they emphasize on sexual abstinence at least until after high school or college entrance? How do you help your teenager understand preserving self dignity involves valuing their own body and personal boundaries, and that it should not be compromised in casual sexual encounters, even if safe sex precautions are taken? [/quote]
Your child is growing up in the US, where premarital sex is no longer frowned upon, in general. It would be a disservice to your child to not educate them about STDs and pregnancy and overall risks in general. By all means, tell them you do not approve of it, that you'd rather they wait until after college, but be realistic, too.  Having this talk with your child doesn't mean you condone it.  It's like telling them the risks of binge drinking, or driving drunk. Just because you talk about it with them, including how to reduce risks,  doesn't mean you condone it.

I grew up as an immigrant child, with immigrant parents who were/are very conservative when it comes to things like sex. My mother never ever talked to me about any of it.  She didn't want me to date even in college, or have a man over my apt when I moved out.  But, then she expected me to get married at 25.  How the heck am I supposed to find a man to marry at 25 if up until then my parents didn't want me to have a man over or date much.

Don't do this to your child.  It really F*up my social skills with men.[/quote]

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