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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can’t have it all OP. That was a lie.[/quote]

Basically this. And in many ways key choices have to be made before you even have kids or when they’re really young, before you even know what life with ES age kids will look like.

I purposely chose a lower pressure/more flexible job after I got married/before kids because I didn’t see how two of us could work really demanding jobs and make it all work. It has permanently reduced my salary and career advancement options. When I am at work meetings or gatherings for professional organizations I tend to feel inadequate and less accomplished compared to others in the room. But most of the time in day to day life I see how beneficial my choice was for my family. I am leaving work now so I can be home for the bus and get one of my kids to a sports practice that starts at 5. I will hop back on the computer around 9 pm and do a couple more hours of work as I do many nights.

I think the choice that I made was generally the right one for me, but others could vary understandably choose differently. I’m sure some part of me will always wonder what I could’ve accomplished in my career if we had the family support to allow both parents to put in long hours away from home. I think it’s perfectly OK to limit the number of activities kids do if their parents’ work schedule does not allow for it.[/quote]

Glad that works for you but some people do ‘have it all’ For example, the dual physician, kids, afternoon nanny families referred to above. [/quote]

+1 It’s not “having it all” to have a nanny schlep your kids around.[/quote]
I think having it all would be if one of the parents would not need to work so they can make sure the kids are well taken care of by their parent, but that’s me. The friends I know who were raised by nannies are fun but the lack of parental care is clear. It seems we all have different ideas of “having it all.”[/quote]

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