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[quote=Anonymous]Before the monstrous wedding industry got started, it was very common to marry in mom and dad’s living room with just parents and siblings and other immediate relatives in attendance. It was also very common to marry at the courthouse or in a very small ceremony with just a witness and clergy.

Neither of these things were considered shameful, and eloping (like for generations of young English and Welsh people who eloped to Gretna Green) was only shameful if you had controlling parents who poured on the shame.

As much as most of the women here probably bought into the marriage industry that Bride magazine et al. have been selling for decades, lavish weddings were historically for the elite and were very much not the norm for regular folks.

Nowadays the average wedding is $27k, marriage is on the decline and many who marry start their marriages in deep debt unless they have parents able to splash out all the cash. The pressure to put on the perfect show is apparently intense among the sort of people who buy into that stuff. Then you fill an album with expensive photos that maybe get looked at a few times by your kids, and start the long slow process of watching your love die over the decades.

Meanwhile research shows that the cheaper the wedding, the longer the marriage lasts. So if you are the sort who doesn’t want a big dog and pony show to accompany your exchange of vows, don’t let anyone shame you on that count.

Once upon a time is was conspicuous consumption that was shameful. [/quote]

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