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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re asking specifically about relationships, so maybe this comment is irrelevant, but I think some of the other trade-offs of a “big” career + family are wrongly ignored.  Things like sleep, exercise, stress management.  Some people can handle more stress than others, absolutely, but SO many high-powered people and women especially run themselves ragged, at times to the point of illness.

Ultimately, you have to prioritize relationships.  You can’t work long hours and spend sufficient time with kids AND spouse AND friends AND other family, not typically.  But people have different needs on those fronts, too - it comes down to what you value.[/quote]

I’m a guy and I agree 1000 percent.  When I was in Biglaw I always chafed at the men and women with kids who for some reason thought they were entitled to special consideration over the single or childless simply because they had kids.  WTF?  Single and childless folks are entitled to have a life too.

I’ll never understand people who prioritize work over a personal life of any kind.  I think it’s really sad.  [/quote]

Do you have kids?  
I’m a woman, and maybe this is different for men, but from the time I had my first child, raising my kids became my main job.  My paid work is a far, far second.  
I get special consideration because if my job interferes with raising my kids, then I’m out.  
I’m not in a position where I am living paycheck to paycheck or I can’t get another job.  [/quote]

Yes I have kids and you’ve completely missed my point.  [/quote]

I don’t get your point then.  
If you want a job where you have time for your hobbies, then tell people that and quit if you don’t get it.  [/quote]

DP - the one who originally posted about time for health and other hobbies as often overlooked in these considerations.  Some parents might act entitled about taking leave, but most of us just want humane parental leave policies, which we still don’t have in this country, not universally.  Frankly, as a mother of three kids, I don’t have a ton of sympathy for someone who gets pissy because I expect to be able to leave at 5pm every day or whatever.  If someone perceives it as entitlement, that might be their own defensiveness at wanting time off for marathon training or sleeping or playing the drums or whatever and not feeling comfortable asking for it.  You think it’s comfortable telling your boss you’re pregnant?  Pregnant again?  Need to go on bed rest?

Anyhoo - most recent PP is right: if you want a job that affords time for family/hobbies/sleep, take a job that gives you that.  My larger point was that when people ask this question (can I have a high powered career and still see my kids?) they often ignore other relevant questions, such as, will I have time to regularly sleep more than 7 hours a night? Will I have time to exercise?  Can I still keep up my friendships?  If you want your life solely to be about career and kids, think about how that will play out long term (usually not well).[/quote]

There are years and years when life is solely about career and kids. It works out fine if you realize it's only temporary and have a supportive spouse.[/quote]
If there's no room in those "years and years of life" for adequate sleep, exercise, and social support then, no, it often doesn't work out fine.  Also, that's your opinion - many people don't want decades of such narrowly focused life.  My kids are my world, absolutely - AND I'm a much better parent because I take time daily to exercise and to get enough sleep.[/quote]

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