Reply to DS22's girlfriend is over ALL. THE. TIME.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because he is on the spectrum is exactly why you need to still be parenting him.  You need to help him manage social expectations - which means taking care of himself and participating as an active member of your household, getting a job, respecting others' space.  You have to explain things to him but you also have to enforce them!  You know he needs to you help him make a framework for his life and you're not.  Don't be afraid of his push back - of course he's not going to like it but you need to act in his best interest. [/quote]

Yes, thank you, glad you understand. A big part of the complication here is extreme demand avoidance, which is a trait he unfortunately shares with his father. There are numerous articles and studies on EDA and autism; here's the abstract from a recent study,  [url=https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9015283/]Understanding the Contributions of Trait Autism and Anxiety to Extreme Demand Avoidance in the Adult General Population[/url]:

"Autism and anxiety are thought to be related to extreme demand avoidance (EDA), which is characterised by intense avoidance of everyday demands. However, the relative importance of autism and anxiety to EDA has yet to be investigated, and little is known about EDA in adulthood. We conducted two online survey studies (Ns = 267 and 549) with adults in the general population to establish the relative importance of autistic traits and anxiety as predictors of demand avoidance, using dominance analysis. Both autistic traits and anxiety were unique and equally important predictors of demand avoidance. These findings suggest EDA is linked to autism and are consistent with the theory that demand avoidance behaviours are potentially anxiety-driven in adults."

So unfortunately it's not a matter of just laying down the rules (or even just requesting his assistance with something) and expecting them to be followed from then on.[/quote]

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