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[quote=Anonymous]I was one of those dumb commenters around 15 years ago. I was age 20 and a friend had a preemie who was in the NICU for about 6 weeks. When they were both home I went to visit them. friend: today is his due date. me: wow, aren't you glad the trouble and pain of labor is done? You could have been in labor right now. friend: No. If I was going through labor right now, my kid wouldn't be in the NICU for six weeks and be prone to health problems for possibly the rest of his life. I felt horrible and promised myself that I would never say a dumb comment to someone who's going through a difficult situation again. Lesson learned by me. Now, if I can't think of anything to say, I ask a question, "how does it feel?" "Are you/he/she in pain?" "How does this effect xyz?" I let them make the comment and then I agree with whatever they say. If they're sad, I can be sad with them, if they're being optimistic I can be optimistic with them. [/quote]
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