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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to note here that I think for most women, the ability to go out without kids comes down to three things:

- Affordability of childcare
- Availability of childcare
- Support of partner and/or other family

It really is not a SAHM versus working mom thing, and I don't actually think it's a question of some women not wanting that time to themselves or with their friends. It's entirely about resources.

Some people have lots of resources for this, others have almost none. Also, these factors are linked -- if you can afford to hire babysitters frequently, you will naturally have more babysitters available to you because you are hiring them regularly. Also, a partner who is supportive of you going out on your own is also more likely to be interested in going out with you, and more likely to share the burden of finding childcare for those outings as well.

If you know a woman who NEVER goes out without her kids, don't just assume she doesn't value it. If money is tight, if you have no local family, if your partner works long hours or is resentful and untrustworthy if left alone with the kids, it's going to be incredibly hard to get out without kids. And the less frequently you do it, the harder it is, because it just makes it that much harder to find childcare or get the kids to adjust to you not being there for bedtime or whatever.

I am someone who values time to myself and away from my child A LOT and it's also been a permanent struggle to get it. I was supposed to go out last week on my own while DH stayed home and did bedtime, but he had an issue at work and it just didn't happen. Story of my life. Hopefully it happens this week. I've learned not to hinge my happiness on it because it's just really hard for us.[/quote]

I know a good number of women who do not appear interested in doing anything without kids and they have the resources.  [/quote]

Yeah I have to agree. I also know a lot of women who just aren't comfortable with using childcare. They have the financial means and a spouse who would love to go out with them but they can't get over the anxiety of leaving their kid and having someone else do the bedtime routine. Maybe they value seeing friends but they don't value it enough to find a way to utilize childcare. [/quote]

+100, this I have observed more commonly than people not being able to afford a babysitter.

The lower income people I know usually have family (grandparents, adult siblings etc.) who are helpful and available.[/quote]

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