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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you forgetting how much conflict comes from different generations of mothers within the same family having opposing wishes for how to spend the day? What is your practical advice for a husband whose mom wants to spend the whole day visiting with all of her children and grandchildren and have dinner at home, while his wife wants to sleep in, have an outing with her kids, and then go out to dinner?[/quote]

The mother who is currently actively mothering gets priority. [/quote]
In your opinion — but the fact is that there will be numerous posts from women whose husbands did something thoughtful for their own mothers, but nothing for the mother of their children.[/quote]

NP. Yes, that’s why this post makes the point that there is still time to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation about how you want the day to go.[/quote]
Yes, because no one ever posts here that they told their husband exactly what they wanted and he didn’t do it.

My point is simply that there will be complaints. You can’t solve this problem by telling people what to do 3 weeks in advance and saying “no excuses, no whining.” [/quote]

90% percent of the whining is for stuff that was 100% preventable with some planning and communication. Especially the total woe-is-me types who expect people to read their minds and are like “even some take-out would have been nice.” Like hand him a menu and a phone.[/quote]
You’re missing the whole point. The moms who say “even some take-out would have been nice,” aren’t saying that they wanted someone to make the phone call to place a takeout order for them; they’re saying that while they didn’t need their families to do anything elaborate or time consuming to make them feel loved and appreciated, they’re disappointed that their spouses did literally nothing out of the ordinary, made no effort, took no initiative, showed no interest in celebrating them. That’s still true if you make your husband make a phone call so you don’t have to make dinner.[/quote]

If you take the initiative one year and open your mouth and use your words, maybe the next year and subsequent years will be different. You will at least have voiced your desires, and that is important. It’s important both for you to say and for your spouse and kids to hear. [b]If you ask for it one year and have a good day and say how nice it was, I pretty much guarantee the next year at least one spouse or kids will remember and will think let’s do that again.[/b] [/quote]
What chutzpah! What naïveté.[/quote]

Oh, I guess other people’s lived experiences count for nothing? Because this is what I saw my mom do: she finally told my dad she wanted the day to be about her, not some communal celebration with her mom and his mom. And…that’s what happened that year and all years going forward. But hey, whatever doesn’t work for you, keep doing that.[/quote]

+1 This worked for me, too. [/quote]

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