Reply to Why are old people so scared of assisted living facilities?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Why are old people so scared of assisted living facilities?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP I have lived through the decline and care of my mother, my father, and most recently my MIL.  What you are doing is difficult and unlike some of the other posters I have no problem with your decision.

My parents did NOT want to go to 'a home'.  I think they viewed as a horrible institutional place where they would be left and forgotten.  My mother was ill (Parkinson's and dementia) for seven years b4 she died.  She stayed at home and my father hired a care manager who managed a rotation of about 10 aides/nurses so that she had 24/7 care at least for the last few years.  My dad also lived in the house so he was able to ensure my mother rec'd the care she needed.  That said without the care manager it would have been almost impossible to ensure 24/7 consistent care which is what she needed at the end.

It's possible that your mom could be ok with a daily aide but eventually that will not be enough.  Aging is a one way street as we all know.  The aides quit or move.  Weeks can pass b4 you find another one.  If the aide is alone with your parent there is no guarantee that they will always be kind and responsive.

My father is now aged enough that he needs care. We used the same care manager for him that we used for my mom.  She charges $60 an hour.  She is worth every penny.

For my father as he is over 6 feet and not the easiest person, we chose to have 2 aides at a time care for him at least for the last 5 years.  He has the $ and he wanted to 'die in this house'.  Between the care manager and the aides, his in-home care runs about $25K a month which comes out of his estate.  He no longer speaks; we are unsure if he understands us, and is moved around via a hoyer lift.  Sad really.  We all miss him.

We are in the process of moving my MIL from a retirement community that claims it's an assisted living facility to a true assisted living facility.  I could write multiple paragraphs on that process but already -- TLDR.

Bottom line there is no easy answer to caring for aging parents.  Everyone needs to do what is best for them and for their parent.  Good  luck OP.  It's tough stuff.  I wish the PP's who think they know what is right realize every situation is different.  All we can do is the best we can do. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics