Reply to Problems with my four year old. I need a super nanny.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: you are at a critical fork in the road. As you can see from the comments here, you have to either lean into rewards and punishments (treating your child like a dog, essentially) OR work really hard at rehabilitating your relationship with him and your household dynamics so there’s real respect.

The latter is much better for everyone but it’s not easy. You need to master your triggers (and your desire to outsource!) so you can stay calm and lead. You need to set reasonable boundaries and let him get super upset and feel those ugly feelings when the boundary is held. He probably has a lot to purge after years of tension. You need humility and a willingness to read and reread whatever helps you be that parent. For me it’s Janet Lansbury. Others might watch videos from the Parenting Junkie. You also need to simplify family life so you can focus on being this person. Get rid of any extras beside school. This is more important than soccer or swimming or traveling. Get to the other side and you will feel amazing and enjoy a true connection with your son.

This isn’t about learning a script to deal with disobedience. You have to embody confidence and faith in both of you. It neutralizes the power struggle.

(All you spankers really think you’re helping? Your kid will be too ashamed to tell you about the sexual fetish you’ve inadvertently caused, and how much they hide from you going forward) [/quote]

Your coment is very very stupid

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