Reply to When did you realize that your parents didn't care about you?

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[quote=Anonymous]There were drips and drabs over the years, but when I moved back in with my mom and stepdad in my late 20s (had gone to grad school, started successful career) due to an abusive relationship blowing up and basically temporarily wrecking my life (I got things back on track quickly by finding new job through my professional network), it all became pretty clear. I had basically been the golden child before this incident, so it's not like I was the source of endless drama for years and they were fed up.

They are pretty wealthy and acted very put out about loaning me $5K, dunned me for it (I paid it back within a couple months), and when I asked for a few more thousand (I had gotten a great job lined up and was trying to get some paychecks and get sorted), they said they were short on cash (they were still working making mid-6 figures and millions in the bank, million dollar+ home paid off, etc.). My mom told all of her friends about the relationship blow up, creating a lot of awkwardness for me. I moved out as quickly as I could and never asked for a dime again (this was many many years ago).

I felt so ashamed and was grateful for letting me live with them for a few months, etc., and tried to just make the best of it. I even asked my mom to travel with me (well, my sister sort of pressured her into it too) when I had to fly and testify in court against the abuser. I was still very much crawling out of the financial hole that I was in, but I put both airline tickets, the hotel, all meals, the rental car, etc. on my credit card and they didn't offer to pay for any of it. I recall going for a cheap meal after the testimony and being so destroyed over the whole thing and just watching my mom refuse to pick up the check. Again, they are rich. I recall thinking I would not do that to my worst enemy.

When I got married and had kids a few years later, it all crystalized. Their involvement with the kids has been minimal (many years later) and they are just fairly self-absorbed.

I honestly wish it had been more obvious sooner. [/quote]

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