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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all your replies. DD does have social anxiety and we’re working on it but at this time she really only has acquaintances at school. She did have a very close friend who totally dumped her and that was a blow to her confidence. Perhaps because she’s so quiet/awkward, kids don’t naturally gravitate toward her or include her.

She does go to clubs when she can but she said people come with their friends and she does not try to break into their conversation; she might talk to some kids but it doesn’t seem to jump-start a friendship, maybe because most clubs only meet once a week, or more commonly every other week. She did do stage crew but did not make friends, so maybe it’s her. I’ve actually wondered if she’s very mildly on the spectrum, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she can’t make friends.

The counselor is aware because sometimes she will eat in an empty room in the counseling office but there are no lunch groups for similar kids so they don’t really have anything to offer. DD really feels like she’s the only one going through this, but that can’t be true.

She has asked to change schools, but if the problem is her, it wouldn’t make a difference. It’s really hard to gauge what’s going on. Don’t most kids have at least a friend or two?[/quote]

She is not the only one.  A lot of kids struggle socially, so they are all looking out for themselves versus looking to see if other people need pulled in.  I think masking made it worse for shy kids, because it made it harder to hear everyone and see facial expressions.  Perhaps encourage her to eat lunch in the cafeteria and really take a good look around.  Are there kids alone, quiet kids?  Are there kids that seem harmless that she could sit near?  Or have her bring a book, so she can read, and other kids could approach her.

Changing schools is drastic, but, if she is being iced out on purpose, it coukd make a difference.  [/quote]

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