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[quote=Anonymous]I have a shy kid who wants to be social. In my experience there are three interrelated areas to address:

-social skills that really get into how to approach someone and then how to deepen the relationship once you are at the point of exchanging pleasantries. My daughter was new to our district. She had a few girls who she kind of tagged along with because they all walked home to the same neighborhood. Then she became more accepted in the group but she still didn't know how to move things forward and needed some explicit coaching

-correcting cognitive distortions/wrong thinking-she needs strategies to talk herself down from thoughts like "I am the only person with no friends" or "the reason I don't have anyone to sit with is that they all think I'm a loser." Cognitive behavioral therapy can help with this.

-understanding that all relationships involve risk, so it can feel really vulnerable to ask to sit with someone or start a conversation, and it could end up badly, but if you want friends you gotta do it.[/quote]

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