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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, Google “rejection sensitive dysphoria”. My DH is like this and I posted about him before. A PP recommended I look into it and every word was true for my situation with him. He doesn’t hate you - he hates himself and every negative encounter makes him feel rejected and then he lashes out. It’s extreme insecurity.

A similar disorder is covert/vulnerable narcissism.

What’s pushing me to leave is knowing that my daughters will think it’s normal for a man to treat them like this one day. I can’t have that. [/quote]

NP here- my husband is the same, I just dont know how I can get out of this. HS and MS aged kids. I feel weak year after year and dont think I can do it as I dont have family around. I am a professional, attractive, person who also happens to have a stable, well-paid job. In a recent explosion, I was told that I dont make as much as him and there should be a financial separation. [b]He has taken DD into confidence I shockingly realized[/b]![/quote]

NP. To this PP -- the bold is a HUGE red flag. He is trying to create a united front against you as the bad guy and turn your DD against you, forcing her to take sides. He likely is playing the "poor me! I try so hard but mom doesn't get me!" role with her, trying to get her to  sympathize with him and view you as wrong and possibly even as somehow doing things against DD's interests.

I don't know what to advise you, PP, but I do know that your DD has been put into a horrible situation and is being manipulated like no child (and yes, even if she's in HS, she's your child) should ever be manipulated. Maybe get into individual therapy as rapidly as possible with a stated goal of strengthening yourself to leave him while also getting concrete ideas on how to prevent your DD from being manipulated and turned against you. I'm so sorry. He is using his own child as a pawn -- though HE will claim he's just a sad, desperate daddy who wants his little girl to understand "how things really are" blah blah. It's just evil. Please get a professional to help you navigate how to respond. [/quote]

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