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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

DH is actually pretty solid career wise. [b]He works about 15-20 hours/week[/b], gets summers off, and makes a bit less than I do. [b]He just won’t help at home[/b], but he works in a highly technical and in demand field right now. He can do his work from anywhere.[/quote]

Wait a minute - DH works less than half time, and doesn't help at home?  What does he do when he's not working?

I know you said that counseling hasn't helped, and he has his own issues, but this is unacceptable.  Letting DH off the hook entirely is going to perpetuate the dysfunction.  Your kids see this imbalance - that mom is doing everything while dad does little - and that's unhealthy.  If DH isn't going to help, his salary needs to go towards all the outsourcing that PPs are suggesting - additional nanny time, babysitters, cleaners, laundry and meal help, housekeeper, etc.  Whatever you need to get through the day so that you can keep working and not be exhausted, and your kids are supported - he needs to cover it.  This needs to be a serious discussion with him about how he must (not should, must) support you.  I'd have a very hard time staying with someone who respected me so little.          
[/quote]

I also stopped in my tracks when I read this. OP, my heart really goes out to you. I was struck that your original post said that you don’t feel like your life is worth living. Does your DH know how bad it is? Does he care? I know you said he loves you and he tries, but it is not loving to be a primary reason that your spouse to be so depressed and overwhelmed that she doesn’t want to get up in the morning.

I know you feel like it’s too much work to get into therapy with DH again. I can relate to the feeling that finding a therapist, making time for therapy, etc is just one more thing you don’t have mental or emotional bandwidth for. I put off therapy for YEARS because of that. And when I finally started, it was because I was in a crisis so profound that I was having trouble getting through the day. It was in no way convenient for me, but my only regret was not starting sooner.  [/quote]

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