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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - One key problem is that you are making excuses for your husband.  He may have mental health issues with his disability that limit his ability to help in some areas, but there are certain basic tasks that you could train him to do.  I also wonder if DH should have a complete physical and get a mental health screening with a new doctor that might help him live a more balanced lifestyle and not just do what he wants to be doing.

1- He could be given a clear list for each place and do the family food shopping on the weekend.  Take the time to develop a master food shopping list from which you would check off the needed items he would be buying.
2- He could go get gas and take care of dropping cars off for services.
3- You need to start in small amounts with telling DH that he is in charge of both children - I mean 30 minutes to go out for a walk, go the library and just read, listen to music etc.
4- He could learn to care for DD during the night.  It may mean that you go to the basement or elsewhere to sleep.  You may think you are the only one who can care for her.  DD will need to learn that dad is there, too.

For yourself, I have a daughter with high anxiety all the time such that she has a weekly call in to her therapist as life's daily flow and her job responsibilities can overwhelm her at times.  A key for her is to work with her psychiatrist to keep a good sleep balance.  So if you have not, you need to talk to your psychiatrist about how to improve your quality of sleep.  She is on the medication Klonopin as just one option.  When her sleep pattern is not right, the stress starts to build.

For daily care of your children, can you arrange so that the nanny will see that both children - or at least your DD - take their baths early before dinner to ease the evening routine on you.  Also, consider how many things that you indicate you are shopping for could be put on automatic delivery via Amazon or simply ordered online.  Also, is there is chance that she could get dinner on one or two nights a week that does not require a lot of effort as in a slocooker.  And coming up with simple meals that would be good for two nights or to make and freeze for a future day when you just need to defrost and serve.  At this point using the FMLA for a period of time might be important to break the seemingly endless cycle that you feel your life has become.[/quote]

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