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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP have you posted before about receiving unequal holiday gifts as well? [/quote]

Hi, that wasn’t me but the same thing is true for our Christmas/holidays with my family. I was inspired to post today because I am hosting our Christmas brunch for 20 people which is not at all inexpensive, and my sister is hosting the dinner tonight. My parents never host because neither of them likes to cook and my step mom can’t deal with the mess from having all grandkids over or a big dinner. They also never offer to bring anything and when I assign them something half the time they forget, or just bring something else random (ie ask them to bring a fruit salad but they show up with a bottle of wine).

They get each grandchild one nice present, which is very nice, and we agreed as adults we would not exchange presents. However, they still do buy presents for my two half sisters and even their boyfriends. I know this because one posted a new flat screen TV my parents got for their apartment on Instagram, and the other posted a new coat they got her which costs $600. They got the boyfriends Apple gift cards.
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How is that not a breeding ground for resentment?[/b][/quote]

[b]Do you hear how you have made your feelings and reactions to other people’s choices as passive and inevitable and out of your control as a bloom of bacteria? You are in control of your thoughts and feelings. You can choose to be grateful that your dad is so confident in your financial stability/prospects instead of resentful. It’s all what you choose[/b]. [/quote]

This is toxic positivity and gaslighting. OP is allowed to feel annoyed. She can decide to only do free things with them and save her money for entertaining friends who treat her well.

[/quote]

Yes she’s allowed to feel however she chooses to feel but clearly choosing to feel resentful is leading to her feeling… resentful. It’s not gaslighting to acknowledge OP has agency and to call out the fact her choice in analogies highlights her lack of seizing control over her agency in the situation/her choice of reactions. [/quote]

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