Reply to Extracurriculars for exposure to Indian culture

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH can afford to be "American" because he actually has the same culture at home.  The culture of his Indian parents.  The DD needs to be exposed to both because her home culture is mixed.  She is biracial and bicultural.  There is no harm in knowing elements of both.  When is knowledge useless? It will just make her more well-rounded.  Learning a new language expands her horizons.  I mean my Indian-American kid has learned Spanish in school. How has that harmed him?

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We are a Chinese-American family with a Chinese dad and a white mom. It’s so hard for me as the mom to give my daughter an upbringing that includes Chinese culture and language, because my DH wants nothing to do with it. But he has access to the language, the food, etc. He isn’t giving my DD that choice. So I’m in charge of virtual language school (our area offers only Mandarin, which is not our Chinese language), cooking, holidays, and keeping the aunties happy. I wish we did better on language and cultural activities- my DH refuses to let DD join the Chinese dance troupes that are popular near us and avoids befriending anyone who looks a tiny bit Asian.

OP, one thing I’m careful to do and which is easier within our particular smaller language/cultural diaspora is to find families and friends with similar backgrounds. My DD may not celebrate mid-autumn festival perfectly, but she at least has friends to do lanterns with. She doesn’t go to in-person Chinese school, but half her gymnastics team is Chinese-American and many have parents who speak our form of the language.  This is probably harder within Indian communities because they are more concentrated and tight-knit. OP, I know the hurt and anxiety that comes from both dealing with the gatekeepers of the culture that you married into, who are always telling you that you’re not doing enough and you’re doing it wrong, too. Keep persisting, find social connections with a similar cultural background, and if all else fails, make sure your DD is at a school where she is never the “only” but also never socially on the outside of a big group of Indian-Americans. My DD is at a school that is 30% mixed race so the idea that there is a right and wrong way to be South Asian, East Asian, black, etc. is just not a thing. It’s super fragmented and that’s a positive.[/quote]

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