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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree generally that older disabled parents should not be the priority, but what can you realistically do? The Medicaid thing suggested above is absurd. My mother was in one of these places this summer and it was inhuman. We as a society have simultaneously extended lives beyond when they are worth living, and at the same time made it a norm to break apart geographically tight families and organizations—which just lines the pockets of the elder care industry. We need to have a reckoning with this; it is unsustainable.[/quote]

I’m the SAHM above. We spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on home remodeling, cars and travel. Dh thinks I have guilt problems. Dh is totally fine with me spending thousands on anything I want but has a problem committing to shelling out for a huge nursing home bill for an unknown amount of time.

The rehab center my dad was at was truly depressing. I feel like it is where poor people go to die. [/quote]

You and DH have messed up priorities.[/quote]

Dh earns a seven figure income. We save a ton. Our retirement and children’s college is already funded. We can afford the extras easily and we can afford to pay $10k+ per month for my dad. I just told Dh I am going back to work. I don’t want to ask Dh to pay for my dad. He said he didn’t say no. I don’t like asking him to pay for my family.

In general, we are on the same page with money since we are big savers. Yes, he buys some expensive toys but we can afford it.[/quote]

Honestly, these types of comments are what has always dissuaded me from being an SAHM. My DH makes high six figures and I make roughly 300K. But I am sure there will be a time where we don't agree on a large-ish expense (something like private schools, or expensive care for my mom as she gets older) and I want to be sure I'm in a position to be able to make those decisions. Good luck OP, I hope your return to the workforce is smooth. [/quote]

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