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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are serious about this person, please spend some time reading real forums and books regarding marrying a partner with ADHD.  It is hard.  Very hard.  My dh doesn't lie, quite the opposite, but every part of our life is dictated by his issues.  [/quote]

Agree. Same here. His disorder is the pervasive issue in our household, marriage, and everyone’s health, including the children.

There have also been terrible accidents due to inattentiveness, and lying about it. He flippantly lies to pretend he’s listening to a conversation and he creepily lies to coverup bad judgement and misses. Not sure when the kids will figure it out, they keep trusting hime and being let down. They also know he’s very easy to trick for more snacks or more tv because he never knows what’s going on.[/quote]

NP, +1 to all of this. I have structured our life to mostly remove the danger of ADHD-related accidents. Running constant silent interference in the background is exhausting, though, and my DH becomes extremely defensive or lies even more when his coverup lies get uncovered. My DD is 8 and is aware of the situation and actually “manages up” now. She’ll be the one to turn off the TV or say “no, Daddy, I already had Goldfish.” I’m not sure what impact this will have on her but I think it’s pretty unhealthy for a little kid to be more responsible and accountable than their parent.

PSA to every parent of a boy with inattentive ADHD reading this who imagines their child successfully partnered one day: please raise your child with self-awareness about their disorder, teach them to be accountable (no shaming- there’s a difference!) for their mistakes, and don’t secretly bail them out during their childhood! [/quote]

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