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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Wow, ok I am realizing I had no idea that there are holidays that are not potluck style. Growing up, my mom and aunts each had their designated dish. DH and I have been together since high school (so it's not like I've been to many different families' holidays) and in his family, everyone also brings something.

Thanks for the perspective.[/quote]

OP, this is a live-and-learn experience. Every family has different traditions, and many families have different traditions that vary with each major holiday.  Some people like to do all of the cooking themselves — and may even enjoy not deviating from the menu that they’ve planned.   Others do a catered meal, so no one has major cooking responsibilities.  As others have said, when you take on the role of hosting the meal, people will be looking to you for guidance.  While I think most people would ask if you wanted them to bring something, others might assume that like any other dinner invitation, the details of the meal will be taken care of by the host.  So, I hope you got some joy out of this experience! I agree with the suggestions that others have made — that if you’re hosting and actually have a potluck in mine, you not only have to tell people in advance, you’ll have to ask if you want specific dishes or specific types of dishes, and coordinate things so that everyone isn’t bringing the same things.  As host, it would be expected that you will do / provide the turkey, or whatever your main course is going to be, but that’s also something for you and your guests to decide amongst yourselves.

I hope your future Thanksgiving celebrations are more to your taste.

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