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[quote=Anonymous]We have something similar, but it is DHs sibling, not parents.  We have given her tens of thousands of dollars over the years.

At one point (our kids were little), I put my foot down.  Simply said that our kids were not going to lose out on college, our retirement was not going to be affected or delayed because she made, and continued to make, bad choices.  That we couldn't continue to throw good money after bad, and that a plan needed to be made that would define our level of contributions going forward and forever that didn't negatively impact our family.

I think the most important thing is for you and spouse to come to an agreement on what is appropriate/acceptable.  And then stick with it.  Maybe it's selling the house and downsizing now,  maybe it's telling them, we can afford to help you with (an amount) each month, but cannot go beyond that.  Or maybe something else.  But whatever it is, make sure your kids and family are not going to suffer for their bad choices/poor planning[/quote]

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