Reply to So weird, all the divorces.

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "So weird, all the divorces."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We probably seem to everyone to be a happily married couple. We've been married 6 years, together for almost 9, and have two young kids. We're pretty social and are pretty loving with each other - never bicker or anything in public. We have a nice little house and happy kids and everything probably seems great to everyone else. But only my best friend knows that my husband cheated on me last year. It was just a physical affair and very brief, but was utterly devastating to me. We have been in counseling and he has been great. I am trying desperately to forgive because of the kids. But we'll see. I'm sure everyone who knows us would be shocked if they knew this. [/quote]

I could never forgive my husband for cheating on me.  That would be the end.  I'd rather be alone.[/quote]

You say that now, as I did, but when you're faced with the reality, it may be a different story. It's also not always cheating and finding out in the "awful awful way" that PPs have found out - there are different variations from years long relationships conducted behind a wive's back to one-time drunken mistakes. For my own particular situation, I think it would have been much more damaging to divorce given what he did and how he has acted since. He did a complete 180 as a man and as a father. It woke him the f up and he begged my forgiveness and has been showing me consistently fo almost a year now that he made a mistake and that he is remorseful and committed to us.

Would I prefer that it wasn't this way?  Of course. And I will never have the innocence and the true faith in love that I had, and I'll be honest, I have lost a bit of respect for him as a man and a person that I will never get back. But I don't think divorcing him would have led me to a better place either. And it certainly is better for our kids.

Please don't judge - you have no idea of everyone's particular situation and really you have no idea what you'd do if your husband came to you and admitted he'd made a horrible mistake and begged your forgiveness. [/quote]

I am also still with my husband after infidelity.  It has been a real struggle.  And yes, I once was a "I'll leave you in a second if you cheat" kind of person.  Reality is a lot more complicated than black and white absolutes.  In my case, I strongly agree with this poster.  Husband also did 180, and worked to put our marriage back together.  There are people who don't know, and I don't think they'd ever suspect he was a cheater.   He doesn't seem the type, and his turning a 180 has put him back into being a solid, dependable, reliable, person.  It has, however, absolutely changed a part of how I view him.  I am not a jealous type who constantly asks where he is and what he's doing, but I can definitely say I don't have 100% faith and trust in him anymore.  And honestly, maybe that's not a terrible thing.  I certainly don't take being married for granted and now also work at the marriage.  And yes, I very much believe that staying together (in a decent marriage) is much better for the kids than the alternative.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics