Reply to Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She has every right to her perspective, her memories, and her analysis of her dad’s drinking, even if you don’t agree with it. My mom “conveniently” forgets many things my dad did over the years related to drinking—including drinking and driving, hiding alcohol, and being so drunk he was hungover the next morning. *Even my dad admits to this.*

So you disagree. That’s fine. But she has a right to her feelings and her perspective. If you want to invite her to family events or reach out to her, do so. If you’d rather not engage with her, then don’t.

But drop the desire to control her memories, beliefs and perspective—that’s not your job, that’s not your say-so, and you need to let go of wanting to control her in that way.[/quote]

Uh, have you read what the DD says occurred? It's not drinking and driving, hiding alcohol or being drunk and hungover the next morning. Sorry, but the mild things OP's DD is complaining about are not worth thinking about.

Maybe she is comparing her relatively good childhood to your DH's childhood and feeling like an entitled, spoiled brat in comparison so she has to come up with some drama and struggle where there was none, to compete with him. Has he ever said, "You've got it easy compared to my childhood"?[/quote]

To you—they’re not thinking about TO YOU, an adult. But as a child, knowing your parent is out of it or acting weird or slurring or what have you makes you feel unsafe. It makes you feel like they’re not taking care of you. You can say what you like as an adult judging another adult’s drinking choices, but the fact is, that type of thing can make a CHILD feel unsafe, confused, and like they can’t rely on their parent.[/quote]

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