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[quote=Anonymous]I made the mistake of living near my parents. They made it clear they had a busy life and would not be taking the kids for the day, or taking them on outings or any of that. It was our job to visit them with kids, make sure kids behaved. We accepted all their boundaries and they had a life and we had a life. One of my kids has special needs and while they love their grandchildren, they were definitely now evolved in accepting SN and having empathy.

So fast forward to when they are aging and suddenly there is a long list of expectations and after dad passes mom descends into an abusive, controlling and highly needy nut who insists on aging in place. Suddenly, we owe her the moon and nothing is enough. My husband and daughter had serious health issues and it was all.about.her. And I am spending all this money of therapy to be at peace with boundaries and having this monster who lives nearby. And we don't want to move because we are happy hear and it's convenient for our jobs. And my siblings just play into mom's crazy and get financial rewards.

So I too just try to find pleasure in the small things and I am grateful my husband is  a good person and I have great kids. I am appreciative when anyone is kind to me because my mother feels so comfortable being heartless. I feel trapped the more her behavior declines and she won't do meds for long and she won't move and she seems to be in better health than I am. I actually fear if I go first, she will go after my husband and kids and make them miserable.[/quote]

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