Reply to My Dad is Living With Us and I Lost It Tonight

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "My Dad is Living With Us and I Lost It Tonight"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,

1.  Study up on reflective conversation. It is used with alzheimer's patients. It is a technique that works well.
Dad--"You should not be walking the dog at 9:00."
OP--"I do this every night.  What are your plans for tomorrow Dad? The weather looks really good."

If he gets on a loop of 11 stupid questions simply stop engaging.  Dad" The tv is too small." OP "you are right, what do you want to have for dinner tomorrow?

Reflective conversation is a really strong tool that helps in the endless loops that come up in conversations with seniors

Another thought...can you have him join you for the 9:00 pm dog walk?  PS. NOTHING IS WRONG ABOUT A WOMAN WALKING A GERMAN SHEPHERD AT 9:00 PM.

2.  Start setting a lot of boundaries.  Have some nights or time on the weekends that is private time for you and your husband in your living room/family room dining room area.
"Dad, our pastor says we need to have some private time for Larlo and I for our marriage. Thursday and Friday nights are our nights to have our date night dinners. I'll prepare something you can warm up in your microwave downstairs." Set certain blocks of days/time as your private time.

3.  Give him chores. People want to feel needed.  Can he rake leaves? Wash and wax the cars?  Do the dishes? Load the dishwasher? Make one meal for everyone once a week?Try to give him regular daily or weekly chores. Does he drive? Send him out on grocery runs. Can he swiffer the floor with a dry mop?  Can you give him one or two meals a week in which he does the cooking? Even if he repeats the same meal each week? Can he fold the family laundry? Can he cut the grass?  Many 80 year olds cut the grass.

4. What is the set up of the inlaw suite?  Does he have his own couch or lazyboy? Does he have a personal coffee maker down there? Does he have access to running water? 
 If not give him gallon jugs of water to use with his keurig. A microwave? A dorm frig? A big screen tv (they are cheap now) Pick up a used lazyboy from somewhere and spend $90 on a big screen tv for him in his inlaw suite.

5.  Partner with your spouse on solutions.  You've only had Dad 8 weeks. At some point this will affect your marriage/relationship.  Plan one or two date nights a week out of the house with your spouse. It does not need to be expensive.  Walk the mall (free) Go out to starbucks with your spouse or go to Denny's for their $10 salmon, potato and broccoli meal.

6.  While you are going through this rocky stage plan some overnights/weekends away with your spouse so that Dad has to function on his own.  Maybe plan one weekend away with your spouse or even one overnight away with your spouse a month.

Good luck, [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics