Reply to My Dad is Living With Us and I Lost It Tonight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, I am a geriatric psychologist, and this comes from two places:

1. What he's saying comes from CARING about you. When is the last time he saw how you lived life up close in this much detail? Before you left for college? You were a different person then. An actual CHILD then, who needed parenting. He hasn't adjusted to you being a full grown competent adult.
2.  What he's saying also comes from worrying about what he would do in these situations. He worries what he'd do if he got a flat, if he was walking the dog and got attacked and the dog ran off, if he was out when it was dark and got turned around and lost, if he ate the amount you ate he'd be hungry. It's projection. [/quote]

+1 plus he doesn't know how to help you (now that he is older) should something bad happen[/quote]

Do you see how irrational that is? She is a grown up who is independent. His thinking is not clear and he is suffering. No amount of reassurance or empathy will make that better. He cannot manage his thoughts. it's one thing to worry like this about a young adult who is naive. It is irrational and disturbing to be so lost in worry about a complete grown up. He needs help. This is not in the normal range of worrying and will get worse. [/quote]

It's not irrational. It's the sad reality for an older parent who can no longer protect their child - he is worried about her and for himself if he lost her. The realization is sad and traumatic to them and he is in the midst of processing the loss of that part of his identity and role in the world and accepting it. Will anxiety meds help? Probably. Is the old guy off his rocker? Nope.[/quote]

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